i'm in a rather funny mood this wednesday morning. perhaps it has to do with my fever of four days which is just now breaking.
either way, it's 7:30 a.m. and despite my body aching and my head spinning, i'm really happy. i'm slowly starting to taste the first hints of health again, and it is refreshing. i haven't eaten in three days and i really miss food, i miss the energy it pours into my body. while reviewing my body in the mirror earlier, i reflected over the joke a few friends made about how much weight i'll get to lose in being sick. i don't feel thinner. i do feel weaker, though. i'm starting to question if being thinner really makes one prettier or happier, as i've probably lost about 5 lbs this week. don't get me wrong, just like every girl in our society, i struggle with my body in finding the ideal, balanced form. i grapple with the images of 'beautiful women' i see in magazines and on movies. somehow though, i keep coming back to the way God sees me, as a beautiful child imparted with His seal of approval. beloved one. that's who i am in Christ. and even when i'm incredibly sick, and i look decrepit, with my hair matted in a bee-hive fashion, and my lips chapped and peeling, with eyes swollen from fever, and skin parched and rough, Jesus still finds me lovely.
perhaps this is where my joy is found: the only place where true joy can be found--in Christ.
thank You Lord for this day, for Your gift of life, of health, and even for the times when i am forced to slow down and soak in Your goodness. as i begin to shake off this wretched case of the flu, i am reminded of God's tender love for His little ones, as He walks me through this journey where at times, i am weak and broken. yet, He is strong.
Father, may i not forget to praise You in everything.